The Right Question

Humans question. We start out our lives asking questions of our parents to the point of annoyance, but what happens when we grow up? Have we learned how to ask the right questions? Questions are such a basic form of communication, that its very easy to overlook that we might not have learned how to ask questions in a way that generate the actual response we are looking for. In fact questions arise because we are in a state of discomfort of some kind, mental, physical, emotional or spiritual.

There are so many examples of this, but here is one we are all familiar with, Why is this happening to me? Now, what kind of answer can be productive to that question. The reasons for events and circumstances are hidden from our knowing, so any answer will just produce more confusion.

If we start our questioning with the end in mind, we make much better questions. What do we actually want when we ask a question, what answer will be satisfying to the questioner,  one that provides comfort to the dissatisfaction.

Its actually a bit challenging to ask questions like this, because the habit of just blurting out a why or when is so ingrained in our language process.

What is it that I want from the answer? More love, prosperity, joy, peace, creativity? Look at the goal and ask What can I do to…

For example; Why is my business failing? or What can I do to create and experience prosperity?

The problem is lack of prosperity, the solution is more prosperity. The business is the playing field, and has so many variables that can be addressed with the “What can I do?” format because the answers that arise are actual actions that can be taken and provide relief from the overarching challenge of a failing business.

The same approach can be taken with any challenge we are facing. The difficult situation now becomes an ally to our personal growth, an unasked-for helper that demands change, which will be either bludgeoned on us by events, or taken in- hand as choices.  The unasked-for is a constant factor in our human experience, learning to ask the right questions can be the ideal vehicle to navigate those choppy and often catastrophic waters. Make “What” your new friend when “Why” wants to take the stage. Its life changing.

What do I want the answer to give or do?